The Saddest Thing

This is the saddest picture. Luckily, we don't have anymore of this from him. The poor little guy didn't feel good from Sunday night to Saturday. We still have a little snot but he is back to smiling and getting into a lot of trouble. He has figured out how to pull himself to standing to reach TV remotes and has managed to pull the nose off of Macy's zhu zhu hamster (we had to fish the nose out the garbage because I didn't know what the pink plastic pieces were in Braden's mouth).

I am glad he is over his cold but now I am wishing I were over it. I have had one of the worst sore throats since Thursday. The coughing that has come with it doesn't help my throat or ears feel any better. I also have my silly rash back. I now get this weird rash everytime I get some type of bacterial or viral infection. The last time this happened the doctor just said sometimes rashes are part of the infection and sometimes it is the way an immune system responds. Either way it is terrible. Sleep seems to be the only way to find some reprieve. However my body doesn't feel so terrible that it wants to sleep all day. Dang it. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be over it. By the way my nose does not look like Braden's did.

With Bad, Some Good Can Come

I have buggers in my hair and smeared on my neck. I am typing with one hand. My little guy is sick with a nasty cold. I had to take a picture of his face this morning after he woke up because it was so gross looking it became funny (The picture will have to come later when I am a little more free). The good side is that today he has actually wanted to cuddle (he woke up sick yesterday and still really didn't want to be held like a baby). I got to take a 20 minute nap because he would only sleep in my arms. I am also grateful because he still slept through the night last night. He got up at 6 am, had a bottle and went back to sleep until 11 am. So I was able to get some things done. I still don't think I want another day like this, unless he will stop grabbing my book so I can do some reading.

Goodbye for Now

*This was started at the end of December and I finally finished it today.

December has been a good month overall. There was one difficult patch but we got through. A most extraordinary person, my grandmother, passed away mid-December. She hung on long enough for her whole family to say goodbye, including my uncle who flew in from Virgina. The hardest part about the death of a loved one is the regret of not asking this question or that question. There is sometimes the regret of "if only I made it one more visit" even though you couldn't have possibly squeezed in any more visits. There is some selfishness that can come into play. You start to think about all things that won't happen anymore and all the sights you won't see anymore. You want the person to live just so that you can continue to have these things still in your life. But that is not the plan so luckily we have been given memories to hold on to and I have been blessed with the knowledge that I can see her again. I have also been blessed to know that she was reunited with her friend and eternal companion. She had been a widow for 26 years and at the end all she wanted to do was to go "home".

Her funeral was beautiful, but cold. She had everything mapped out in a binder. The binder included a list of people to call to notify of her passing. It had a request for a poem to be read that my grandfather wrote. There were suggestions for speakers and a request for songs. One in particular was to have my cousin play her part of a duet her and my grandmother used to perform. The song was "How Great Thou Art". She had written that she didn't want the most expensive casket and her favorite color was pink so she wanted pink flowers. She even specified that the funeral was not to last longer than an hour. I never saw the binder so all this was hearsay and I am not sure what other details were there. All I know is that it was special and I am glad I made it out to visit several times in the recent months.

My biggest fear when people pass away is that I will forget what they look like and forget precious memories I had with them. I jotted down some memories with my grandma to help stop this fear from coming true. Those that knew her, please feel free to add your 2 cents to help my poor memory.

• Sleepovers at her house. My grandpa passed away when I was 3 so I think to help fill a gap she used to have her grandkids over a lot. My sister, Emily, my cousin, Garrett, and I did a lot of these. There are a lot of memories in connection with the sleepovers so they will get their own bullet points.
• Building forts with her old, but huge 1960s or 70s couch cushions. They were gigantic, orangy brown square cushions. We also used these as sleds to ride down the stairs.
• Playing at the elementary school playground right across the street. On Sunday dinners or holiday dinners my dad would often take us over there. The playground used to have a foursome teeter totter thing and big swings.
• Rolling Easter eggs down hills. One time at my cousin Garrett's house and one time at the elementary school. She would often let us color the eggs with crayons.
• Helping her clean out my grandpa's old desk and finding "robin eggs" aka peanut M&Ms.
• She was very positive. She always praised us for things. Most recently she was always telling me what a good mother I was and how cute I was with my kids. She often told me how proud she was of me. She was proud of Brian too. She read my blog often and would always tell me what a good writer I was. I don't know how true that is, you be the judge.
• She was an amazing journal writer.
• Building a tent in her back yard using string, blankets and her plum tree. She then let us sleep outside in our tent.
• Along with my Grandma Bonnie and my mom, she made all the dresses at my wedding, except my wedding gown and the mother's dresses. She was a great seamstress. I know she learned it from her mother who actually went to college for a sewing degree. She would always say she wasn't as good as her mother.
• To go along with sewing, there was a lot of unpicking. There wasn't a sewing project that something didn't have to be unstitched. she liked to do things right.
• I did a lot of sewing with her. She sewed some of my school clothes with my mom. One time Emily and I went over there and we made an outfit. It was sewn well but my fashion at the time wasn't so good.
• Other things I sewed with her: my junior prom dress, a pioneer dress we donated to This is the Place State Park, a shower curtain
• She introduced us to a game called Skipbo.
• She was always helping my sister and I with craft projects. We made a Christmas wreath and a floral arrangement for my mom's wall.
• She loved to paint and was very good at water color. She liked to help my sister and I explore this talent. I remember her helping us paint a galaxy picture for the Reflections contest in elementary school. I know there was other projects. After I was married I painted two pictures with her that hang in my house today (well they are in storage for the time being).
• On one of her missions she sent me a lesson she had used and suggested I use it for a family home evening lesson. I did it. I wish I still had it because it was good. All I remember is that there were sticks with clues or something taped to them. My family had to find them outside and then the main point centered around a scripture found in the Book of Mormom about remembering. I will have to try my best to remember the scripture and look it up. I believe it was when one of the prophets was talking to his 2 sons whom he had named Nephi and Lehi after their forefathers. At the time those references to remembering couldn't be found in the index, I believe.
• She liked to share the gospel with her family at each gathering.
• She introduced our family to the Easter story in the Easter eggs. A few years later she added the Book of Mormom Easter Story to the eggs.
• Helping put up her Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations. Usually on Thanksgiving we would sleep over so we could help the next day.
• She would put out her china on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her china will always remind me of those wonderful holidays spent with her. I picked out my china to match hers.
• Her birthday was the end of October. The last gift my grandfather gave her was the precious moments nativity. He was so excited to give it to her he could hardly stand it. He passed away that Thanksgiving. Her one regret was his last meal was mush from the hospital cafeteria. She said he absolutely hated the stuff (I do too). He sent her home after breakfast so she could get the Thanksgiving dinner ready. The doctors thought he would be fine. Well that afternoon right before dinner the hospital called to say he had passed away.
• She had the most beautiful garden. She had a plum tree and peach tree. She had raspberries and planted all sorts of other vegetables. She loved to garden. She grew beautiful iris, hibiscus and roses. She loved to paint the hibiscus and iris and put together beautiful flower arrangements.
• Of course there was raking the leaves.
• She tried to teach us how to get along and be happy. She didn't like my sister, cousin and I to fight or be upset. She would always find some way to make us smile when we were determined to be made. She would say things like "don't you smile" or "if you smile your face will crack". There was one game she would play and went something like this: I am an old lady with a stick and a staff, you must neither smile nor laugh, but say right down I do. The person would then ask in a witchy voice if you would do something terrible like eat worms. The person made would have to say "I do" without laughing or breaking a smile.
• When we would sleep over she would have us say our nightly prayers. To avoid fights over who got to say it we would each take a turn saying what we were thankful for or asking for something needed.
• She always gave us miniature marshmallows for treats. Sometimes these would be roasted over a candle. We did caramel apples a lot with the kraft caramel.
• I only saw her in shorts once because she thought her legs were ugly. She didn't have a swimsuit because she never learned to swim.
• Brian and I lived with her for 3 months while our first home was being finished.
• She was a good cook and came up with magic sauce. She won an award from Better Homes and Garden for her cherry syrup recipe.
• She always had food storage.
• She usually let us do what we wanted but had a way of persuading us out of doing things she wasn't thrilled with.
• One sleep over she let us move everything out of her shed and that is where we slept. We brought an extension cord from the house to plug in a TV and my cousins Nintendo. We may have done this twice.
• For my birthday, she would take me out shopping for the day. I could pick out what I wanted and then we would get lunch. It was usually something like Arby's or Taco Bell but one time, I believe, it was at the ZCMI restaurant at Cottonwood Mall.
• She bought Kelsey's blessing dress because we named Kelsey after her.
• Brian makes fun of me for this, but I own 2 shirts from her that are hand-me downs. She felt she had gotten too skinny recently so she asked if I wanted them. I like them so I wear them.
• The last thing she said to my sisters and I was to strengthen our testimonies. She said this is so important because she wants us to be with her again. (I wish I had written this down as soon as I left the room because now it is a vague memory and I don't know if my sisters could hear her very well.)

This is what I can remember for now. Maybe one day I will add more it to. All I can say is she is one very special and influential woman and I will miss her.

Head Strong, Yes

Homework today was excruciatingly painful. Macy and I worked on it for an hour and a half. Now mind you she is in kindergarten and the homework shouldn't take that long. For some more background she sat and argued with me this morning about the game Hi Ho Cherry-O. She said it was apples on the front. I told her they were cherries because the box read "cherry". I even pointed this out. She continued her stand that they were apples and that the letters "cherry" actually spelled "apple". After at least five minutes of going back and forth I left the conversation because I got no where with her and to her it still says apples.

Anyways part of her homework is to go through pages of graded school work and help her correct them. She came home with a stack today (her teacher must have caught up over Christmas). Each time I would point out something good she had done and then point out the mistake. When it came to the mistake she was convinced of some conspiracy against her. She is sure someone else circled the wrong answer because she knows she circled the right one. Or someone else wrote her name at the top of their paper. Or she didn't use pencil she used marker/highlighter. This would be funny except for she gets really mad when I gently tell her that isn't true. She screams, gets upset, and gets frustrated that I don't believe her. I finally had to end the topic only to try to revisit it a little later. One in particular was a picture of an egg and she was to right the beginning letter under the picture. Well she had "Aa". I tried to explain to her how to pronounce "egg" not "agg" and that we needed to fix the letters. She disagreed with me again. She told me that is not what her teacher said.

After this she had to read. When it comes to reading she has to read the word correctly the first time or she gets angry and frustrated. She grunts, wiggles, shouts, whines that she can't do it, etc. She gets so wiggly the more she struggles. She turns upside down, side ways, scoots to the left then to the right. She gets so mad that will stop and refuse to read for a bit.

If you were a fly on the wall I am sure it would be hysterical to watch these scenes play out. Some days I avoid certain parts of homework. Some days I don't make time for it completely because it can be so grueling. Some days are a breeze (if she is good at what we are doing). Some days I am more patient. Some days I am less patient. Today I was more patient. I remained calm for the most part. When she wouldn't finish I would say that was her choice but there are consequences to our choices. I then would go work on something. She would come crying back and say she would finish it. We would get stuck and again I would tell her that was her choice. She would stop. After a minute she wanted to play but I reminded her that she had chosen not to finish her homework so it was back to the books. Thankfully we finished and I am writing this blog today. Her homework could be a partial reason we my blogging has been so sporadic.

As if we need more change

Well we are in for some more change. Brian happened to come across a new job mid-December. It is what he really wants to do and the pay isn't bad so he took it. He starts next Tuesday with Woodside Homes. It is in North Salt Lake so now we have to re-think about where to live. He was sad to say goodbye to Molina because they have been so good to him. But the job he was doing was not really for him.

Bring on the ever present change. I hope I can handle more.

Kid update and funny sayings

Back at the end of November Macy came home and told me how she went to the "dessembly" at school today. She said she really liked the "dessembly".

A couple of days later she told me about the "unicorn" thing she made in her yellowbook. Because Thanksgiving was nearby I was able to decipher it to be a "cornucopia".

Recently we have been having some issues with hating things. Kelsey has hated almost everything and she says it with such venom. Well Brian said if she said hate again she was going to get soap in her mouth because we don't need hate and we need to choose to be happier. Well in December we were having FHE and Kelsey was a little grumpy. At one point she said "I hate Jesus" with such fury and contempt that Brian said all right get the soap. Of course she was crying and screaming in the bathroom. Brian tried to explain that he was doing this because she said hate and not that is was because she hated Jesus. All of the sudden she cried out "I love Jesus. I don't hate him." Obviously she didn't get it and Brian was laughing and a little taken back so the soap was not administered. We haven't really heard the word "hate" since then.

As my grandmother was dying and after we had said goodbye, Macy asked "How far is heaven? Is it on Earth?" She also asked if we will still have our bones when we die.

Braden hasn't said anything funny and is still happy. He is becoming trouble. He gets around. No crawling though. He does the army crawl thing like his legs don't work. He gets up on his knees but doesn't quite get it. He can get from his tummy to sitting now. He prefers paper to toys and scoots across the room for the tiniest bit. He likes the shredder and garbage cans in the computer room and likes to unplug the jump drive.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

To start off, Happy New Year. Thanks to our good friends, Jeff and Camie, our family celebrated this generally over-rated holiday. After many years of high expectations for ringing in the new year, I have given in to my mind and body and prefer to go to bed at a more normal time. This year Jeff and Camie hosted a family party so we took our kids to the party with us. They had a great time running a muck with all the other kids. After the Martinelli's Jeff found a boy and a girl (about the age of 8 or 9) alone together in a dark room (nothing was going on but still makes a parent jump at the thought) and then looked outside to see a 3 or 4 year old boy peeing off his front porch (there was a medical reason for this). We had quite the rager going on. Ha, ha. The best part was we arrived at 7 PM but Jeff had changed all the clocks in the house so they read 11 PM. We celebrated New Year's a little early which did not bother me at all. I think I was able to go to bed by 11 PM. The kids thought it was so cool that their parents let them stay up until 2 AM.

Before Dec 31st there was Christmas. Christmas was good to us this year. Of course I have taken so long in writing this post that I have forgotten many details. Here is my attempt.

One of the company Christmas parties was cut short this year. Braden was at my parents and made his way over to a space heater and burned his hand. He was a tough kid and cried for an hour. I think this was mostly because he was tired. By the time we got to the urgent care he was finished crying and was using the hand to touch things. He did have blisters and we had to wrap it for a few days to let the skin heal. He was a stinker and we struggled to keep the bandage on. We gave up after 2 days and his hand seems to have turned out fine.

With his bandage (the girls called it a cast). Eating the bandage.

Of course there was family get togethers. Brian's mom's family had a toned down "nogger" party. We worn our ugliest sweaters we could find and drank homemade egg nog. Call me silly but I think I prefer store bought egg nog. Santa came to visit and all the kids sat on his lap. Kelsey wanted a real guinea pig. Brian's cousin Scott played Santa this year which was great because he knew all the kids names and some of the things going on with childrean.

Brian's dad's family party was the next day and great-grandma came through with presents for all the great-grandkids. The grandkids are all too old for toys purchased from Rite Aid last year during the after Christmas clearance.

Christmas Eve we did something new this year. My uncle invited us over to his house for dinner and Christmas fun. I love getting together with his family and I hope we continue to do stuff with them since my grandma passed away. I know that Macy and Kelsey love playing with my cousin Noah who is about 8. My aunt Becky had a wonderful feast for us. After we did a Grandma Lue Christmas tradition and played Christmas songs using chimes. It was the best I ever heard them played. Of course Macy, Kelsey and Noah were the only kids. Then Becky shared with us her Christmas tradition of reading about the symbols of Christmas. For the grand finale we acted out the Nativity starring Macy as Mary, Noah as Joseph and Ellie as baby Jesus. Braden debuted as a shepherd eating his sheep. Kelsey wouldn't be the angel so I, as the understudy, took the stage. After the Nativity Santa dropped some presents from his sleigh on the doorstep for everyone. It was the traditional pajamas. It was a fun way to spend Christmas Eve. There is one smart Santa in our house so most of his gifts were wrapped so Santa got to take it easy when he got home from the party.

Christmas morning came and almost went before the kids woke up. In fact Brian and I had to help them along so we could get everywhere. I showered and did my hair and Brian ran on the treadmill to provide some noise to rouse them. It worked and I think we started opening presents around 8:30 AM. I think the kids were still asleep when we started because there was no emotion out of any of them as they came out and began opening presents. As we got through some of it Macy began to wake up. Kelsey finally came alive on the last gift she opened. It was her Zhu Zhu hamster. The other highlight for Kelsey was her Scooby Doo board game Braden gave her. Macy was excited about the Madame Alexander doll (American Girl doll look a like), the outfits for the doll, and the stroller she received. She has dragged them all over town. For example the day after Christmas we stopped by the mall. Both girls had to take their strollers. Macy had her doll in the stroller and Kelsey had her hamster strapped in. I didn't take a picture of all gifts, but it was plenty and I think they got everything they wanted at the moment. The following Monday at Target they were asking me to buy them something else they really wanted and had to have. I guess the gimmies never end.

Braden's way of opening presents was to eat the wrapping paper.

PS Some of the pictures are not the greatest and you will have to ignore the scary red eyes. Santa may need to go out and buy himself a new camera.

I too had a great Christmas. Brian gave me the peacoat I wanted, bought and then took back because I felt I had spent too much money recently. Some of my best Christmas usually comes the day after Christmas when I get things for a great deal. Brian and I dropped the kids off at my mom's and made our way to the Park City outlets. I had received a gift card to the Tanger Outlets and some money. I was ready to shop. Brian and I came back with way too much stuff but sometimes the gimmies are hard to give up even in adulthood. I came home with 2 pairs of jeans, a shirt, 4 pairs of shoes, 1 skirt and 2 dresses. Don't worry Brian wasn't left in the cold. He came home with his fair share of stuff. For some reason we are a little more free with our money right after Christmas. Some adrenaline must be leftover from the day before.