Goodbye for Now

*This was started at the end of December and I finally finished it today.

December has been a good month overall. There was one difficult patch but we got through. A most extraordinary person, my grandmother, passed away mid-December. She hung on long enough for her whole family to say goodbye, including my uncle who flew in from Virgina. The hardest part about the death of a loved one is the regret of not asking this question or that question. There is sometimes the regret of "if only I made it one more visit" even though you couldn't have possibly squeezed in any more visits. There is some selfishness that can come into play. You start to think about all things that won't happen anymore and all the sights you won't see anymore. You want the person to live just so that you can continue to have these things still in your life. But that is not the plan so luckily we have been given memories to hold on to and I have been blessed with the knowledge that I can see her again. I have also been blessed to know that she was reunited with her friend and eternal companion. She had been a widow for 26 years and at the end all she wanted to do was to go "home".

Her funeral was beautiful, but cold. She had everything mapped out in a binder. The binder included a list of people to call to notify of her passing. It had a request for a poem to be read that my grandfather wrote. There were suggestions for speakers and a request for songs. One in particular was to have my cousin play her part of a duet her and my grandmother used to perform. The song was "How Great Thou Art". She had written that she didn't want the most expensive casket and her favorite color was pink so she wanted pink flowers. She even specified that the funeral was not to last longer than an hour. I never saw the binder so all this was hearsay and I am not sure what other details were there. All I know is that it was special and I am glad I made it out to visit several times in the recent months.

My biggest fear when people pass away is that I will forget what they look like and forget precious memories I had with them. I jotted down some memories with my grandma to help stop this fear from coming true. Those that knew her, please feel free to add your 2 cents to help my poor memory.

• Sleepovers at her house. My grandpa passed away when I was 3 so I think to help fill a gap she used to have her grandkids over a lot. My sister, Emily, my cousin, Garrett, and I did a lot of these. There are a lot of memories in connection with the sleepovers so they will get their own bullet points.
• Building forts with her old, but huge 1960s or 70s couch cushions. They were gigantic, orangy brown square cushions. We also used these as sleds to ride down the stairs.
• Playing at the elementary school playground right across the street. On Sunday dinners or holiday dinners my dad would often take us over there. The playground used to have a foursome teeter totter thing and big swings.
• Rolling Easter eggs down hills. One time at my cousin Garrett's house and one time at the elementary school. She would often let us color the eggs with crayons.
• Helping her clean out my grandpa's old desk and finding "robin eggs" aka peanut M&Ms.
• She was very positive. She always praised us for things. Most recently she was always telling me what a good mother I was and how cute I was with my kids. She often told me how proud she was of me. She was proud of Brian too. She read my blog often and would always tell me what a good writer I was. I don't know how true that is, you be the judge.
• She was an amazing journal writer.
• Building a tent in her back yard using string, blankets and her plum tree. She then let us sleep outside in our tent.
• Along with my Grandma Bonnie and my mom, she made all the dresses at my wedding, except my wedding gown and the mother's dresses. She was a great seamstress. I know she learned it from her mother who actually went to college for a sewing degree. She would always say she wasn't as good as her mother.
• To go along with sewing, there was a lot of unpicking. There wasn't a sewing project that something didn't have to be unstitched. she liked to do things right.
• I did a lot of sewing with her. She sewed some of my school clothes with my mom. One time Emily and I went over there and we made an outfit. It was sewn well but my fashion at the time wasn't so good.
• Other things I sewed with her: my junior prom dress, a pioneer dress we donated to This is the Place State Park, a shower curtain
• She introduced us to a game called Skipbo.
• She was always helping my sister and I with craft projects. We made a Christmas wreath and a floral arrangement for my mom's wall.
• She loved to paint and was very good at water color. She liked to help my sister and I explore this talent. I remember her helping us paint a galaxy picture for the Reflections contest in elementary school. I know there was other projects. After I was married I painted two pictures with her that hang in my house today (well they are in storage for the time being).
• On one of her missions she sent me a lesson she had used and suggested I use it for a family home evening lesson. I did it. I wish I still had it because it was good. All I remember is that there were sticks with clues or something taped to them. My family had to find them outside and then the main point centered around a scripture found in the Book of Mormom about remembering. I will have to try my best to remember the scripture and look it up. I believe it was when one of the prophets was talking to his 2 sons whom he had named Nephi and Lehi after their forefathers. At the time those references to remembering couldn't be found in the index, I believe.
• She liked to share the gospel with her family at each gathering.
• She introduced our family to the Easter story in the Easter eggs. A few years later she added the Book of Mormom Easter Story to the eggs.
• Helping put up her Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations. Usually on Thanksgiving we would sleep over so we could help the next day.
• She would put out her china on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Her china will always remind me of those wonderful holidays spent with her. I picked out my china to match hers.
• Her birthday was the end of October. The last gift my grandfather gave her was the precious moments nativity. He was so excited to give it to her he could hardly stand it. He passed away that Thanksgiving. Her one regret was his last meal was mush from the hospital cafeteria. She said he absolutely hated the stuff (I do too). He sent her home after breakfast so she could get the Thanksgiving dinner ready. The doctors thought he would be fine. Well that afternoon right before dinner the hospital called to say he had passed away.
• She had the most beautiful garden. She had a plum tree and peach tree. She had raspberries and planted all sorts of other vegetables. She loved to garden. She grew beautiful iris, hibiscus and roses. She loved to paint the hibiscus and iris and put together beautiful flower arrangements.
• Of course there was raking the leaves.
• She tried to teach us how to get along and be happy. She didn't like my sister, cousin and I to fight or be upset. She would always find some way to make us smile when we were determined to be made. She would say things like "don't you smile" or "if you smile your face will crack". There was one game she would play and went something like this: I am an old lady with a stick and a staff, you must neither smile nor laugh, but say right down I do. The person would then ask in a witchy voice if you would do something terrible like eat worms. The person made would have to say "I do" without laughing or breaking a smile.
• When we would sleep over she would have us say our nightly prayers. To avoid fights over who got to say it we would each take a turn saying what we were thankful for or asking for something needed.
• She always gave us miniature marshmallows for treats. Sometimes these would be roasted over a candle. We did caramel apples a lot with the kraft caramel.
• I only saw her in shorts once because she thought her legs were ugly. She didn't have a swimsuit because she never learned to swim.
• Brian and I lived with her for 3 months while our first home was being finished.
• She was a good cook and came up with magic sauce. She won an award from Better Homes and Garden for her cherry syrup recipe.
• She always had food storage.
• She usually let us do what we wanted but had a way of persuading us out of doing things she wasn't thrilled with.
• One sleep over she let us move everything out of her shed and that is where we slept. We brought an extension cord from the house to plug in a TV and my cousins Nintendo. We may have done this twice.
• For my birthday, she would take me out shopping for the day. I could pick out what I wanted and then we would get lunch. It was usually something like Arby's or Taco Bell but one time, I believe, it was at the ZCMI restaurant at Cottonwood Mall.
• She bought Kelsey's blessing dress because we named Kelsey after her.
• Brian makes fun of me for this, but I own 2 shirts from her that are hand-me downs. She felt she had gotten too skinny recently so she asked if I wanted them. I like them so I wear them.
• The last thing she said to my sisters and I was to strengthen our testimonies. She said this is so important because she wants us to be with her again. (I wish I had written this down as soon as I left the room because now it is a vague memory and I don't know if my sisters could hear her very well.)

This is what I can remember for now. Maybe one day I will add more it to. All I can say is she is one very special and influential woman and I will miss her.

Once upon a Fall Day...

Yesterday we had a leaf birthday party for my grandma. Her birthday falls at the end of the month so my mom, sister, and my kids went to her house to celebrate. We took in Paradise Bakery for lunch and then of course we went out to play in her leaves that fell off the large tree in her front yard. After the playing she opened presents and we sang Happy Birthday and made her blow out a candle. It was the perfect fall day and a fun party.

I have always gone over to my grandma's house to play in the leaves and then help her bag them when done. I can't remember when this started but I believe my older cousins did this before me. Some years I remember a foot or two of leaves covering her lawn. My memory may be exaggerating this but there is usually a lot of leaves. We used to pile them and jump. Sometimes we would make pathways through the leaves or outline rooms of a house. Grandma would let us just imagine and have fun. She even let us have fun with the leaf blower when she purchased one. It was one of the best chores (if you could call it that).

Now that my siblings and I are grown, my mom likes to make sure we go over and still play in the leaves especially with the grandkids. Of course we still help clean up but it is still not a terrible task. In fact, raking the leaves stirs up the most wonderful fall aromas. When I smelled the fallen leaves my mind quickly return to autumn days of the past.

My kids enjoyed piling up the leaves. It took us awhile to get them to stop and play in the leaves. They found baskets to fill and dump. The basket idea was the first in all these years. The girls didn't think there were enough leaves so they went to the neighboring yards to gather more. This year many of the leaves were blown by the wind into the neighbors yards. But there were still plenty so the rest of us kept to our yard.

So what do you do once the leaves are in one big pile?

Well you can ...

...eat them. Only Braden recommends this. Or bury yourself in them. We buried Braden and he didn't seem to mind.

... you get your picture taken. The little baby is my sister's brand new baby. When she is around Braden gets demoted to the number 2 spot. Macy wanted to take Ellie home the other day. My mom told her then Emily wouldn't have a baby. So she said that Emily could take Braden. She also told my mom that Emily could just have another one.

Another funny story about Ellie. Kelsey asked when she was going to get her bump.

Back to what you do with a pile of leaves. Of course there is the classic, jumping in them.

And jumping some more.
Then have mom jump in them.

Or throw them in the air.

I loved visiting my grandma and I love all the memories I have made with her. I am so glad to have wonderful family. I am glad my mom gets to join in on this tradition.

I just thought these pictures were cute.

Family Fun

I bet you all thought that for these past two weeks I was trying to figure out how to be the mother of three adorable children. Well it wasn't exactly like that. In fact it was yesterday (Monday) that I had to face reality on my own. Instead during those two weeks our family was able to spend time with my family and Brian's family.

My mom flew down a couple of days before Braden was born. The girls had a great time playing with grandma. We did some shopping, cleaning, swimming (it was warm while grandma was here without the rest of the posse) and of course some spoiling. We had to make flower hair clips because grandma purchased one for each girl to match their Easter dresses. Well Macy lost hers before Easter came and she was devastated so it was off to craft stores to get the supplies. Now I have a drawer full of flower clips. You will see some of our work in several of the pictures. Before Braden was born I took my mom to a nail salon and we both got pedicures. It was her first one ever.

The Monday after Braden was born Brian took the day off. He was able to play with us and even did some swimming with the girls (it was like 93 that day).

When Braden was a week old the rest of my family came down to join my mom and do a little vacationing and a lot of bonding. It was my brother's spring break and of course he wanted to do some swimming but it cooled off just for them. We even had rain.

The first night they were here we went to the Easter Pageant. The next day we dyed Easter eggs. That same morning Brian and Jake played golf for $80 a person. That was with a discount. It is peak season right now for that sort of thing. In the summer you can get a steal on a round of golf. Can you guess why?


Then Macy and Kelsey talked them into swimming. It wasn't extremely warm that day. In fact it was only in the 70s and the wind was blowing. Only my sisters, Stefanie and Calee, and my brother, Jeff, braved the water.

Don't they look cold. Yes, they are using hippopotamus floats.

That night for dinner we made our way to Joe's BBQ. Mmmm... Delicious!

The next morning was the community Easter Egg Hunt and it was raining. I think my dad brings the colder weather when he comes.

Here is Macy and her best friend Elodie after the hunt. Does it look like we live in Arizona?

After the Easter Egg hunt, I took my sisters to see the great and spacious building, aka the Scottsdale Fashion Mall. It is under construction to add even more shops so it didn't seem as impressive. It was too crowded for my taste. Because of the weather everyone had the same idea as us.

After the mall it was off to a Diamondback game. Brian and I switched places. I stayed home with the baby and he went to play (he didn't go to the mall). The girls made out with the goods there. Kelsey came home with a new shirt and Macy had a new hat. I was told that Macy ate so much junk that she should have been sick. They said that she couldn't be filled up with pizza, hot dogs, nachos, kettle corn and whatever else. Glad she didn't get sick, of course that night she slept at grandma and grandpa's so I wouldn't have had to deal with it.

Saturday night was the last night for a sleepover at grandma and grandpa's place (they rented a house for this visit). And then Sunday brought Easter. The girls were real excited for their Easter baskets. The Easter bunny made a few mistakes. She got the coloring books mixed up and that has been a bit of a fiasco. She also didn't realize how small the baskets were. I didn't buy tons of stuff but the items I did purchase were just a little too large to allow room for the candy.

My parents brought down their dogs so the kids could love/torture them a bit.

Kelsey just can't get enough of these dogs. I hope she gets her fill of dogs with these ones because I don't foresee dogs in our future. I have plenty to keep me busy.

Early Monday morning my family made their way back home and then Brian's parents made their way down that same evening. I am glad they did because they gave Brian and I the chance to get the temple, which sorely needed.

While they were Macy got to do some birthday shopping with grandma. I was afraid she was going to buy out the entire Old Navy girls section. I lost miserably at hearts, again. I don't know why I agree to play. I guess I like to play. We played a some Sequence, which is more of my thing (I can win at this game).

PS I need to mention here that during these 2 weeks Brian and I played Ticket to Ride 3 times and I beat him 3 times in a row. Finally, victory!

Brian took Friday off so we spent a leisurely day eating at the Farmhouse Restaurant, playing in the fountain behind the eatery (Brian's parents got the really nice weather) and checking out their accommodations. Macy thought it was a playhouse and never wanted to leave. She washed clean cups over and over again.

Saturday I ran errands while the rest went to Freestone Park and rode the train and other amusement rides.

Then I caught up with them while they went swimming at the condo's heated pool. Of course I couldn't get in, so I just tried to get a little color and do some reading.

This picture was just too cute to pass up. It was taken on Sunday. This was the last day to play with grandma and grandpa for a couple of weeks.

Grandma and Grandpa Came Next

The fun didn't stop when Emily flew home out because grandma and grandpa flew in the same night she left. The kids were in heaven. They absolutely love having family around.

With grandma and grandpa we got to go birthday shopping for Kelsey which of course led to a little gift for each of the girls. I figure this is a grandparents prerogative. I just wish Macy wouldn't whine to get what she wants (I wasn't buying her anything so she started the whining). Then it was off to find some pumpkins to carve, but it was getting late and no naps. The first place we stopped I thought was a particular pumpkin patch. It wasn't the right place and the only pumpkins they had left were the large ones. Of course the girls found the tiny "baby" pumpkins so those were purchased. Then it was off to Walmart and then dinner. Well Walmart was completely sold out of carving pumpkins. So grandma bought a painted one and we called it good on the pumpkin carving this year.

Other fun things with grandma and grandpa included lunch at Dairy Queen, a trip to Arizona Mills (along with throngs of other people on a Saturday), enjoying dinner on the patio in the nice weather, trick-or-treating, celebrating Kelsey's birthday and playing several games of hearts. I didn't win any of them but came close the last time. If I had won that would have been history in the making, but of course Brian managed to beat me. We also tried a new breakfast and lunch place called the Farmhouse Grill. It was delicious. I had some of the best restaurant eggs ever and Brian can't stop thinking about the grilled potatoes. We highly recommend this place.