Funny Tanner Moments

Fall 2017

"I have a sleeve opener" as he opens a drawer with his shirt sleeve that got caught on a knob.

"Squash makes me nervous.  It makes me throw up."

"I am allergic to squash."

We were in the kitchen and I smashed a fruit fly between my hands.  As I do this Tanner cries out wanting me to stop.  When he found out that I had killed it, he almost begins to cry saying "that was my best friend."  I said "oh I am sorry.  If he was your friend what was his name."  Instantly he replies that his friend's name was Pencil.  I apologized and explained that Pencil had lots for family members so he could make a new friend.  From then on he would see Pencil's cousin and Pencil #2 and Pencil #3.

Jan 17, 2018

Talking with me: "I don't remember what you got for Christmas."
Me: "I got clothes."
Tanner:  "Oh... That is so sad."
Me:  "Why?"
Tanner:  "Because no one can play with them.  I hated that present I got with clothes in it."

"My brain sent me that message."

He always says: "My heart beats for..." when he wants something; such as a glass of water at night.

He has decided that Brian is his official butt wiper.  He treats this task as if it were a privilege.  One morning he was on the toilet and called out to me for help.  I walk in to do the duty and he says, "Wait.  Is dad gone already?"
Me:  "Yes."
Tanner:  "Then I guess you get to wipe my butt."

Jan 19, 2018

He was over at friend's house playing.  He comes out and tells the mom he can't play in the playroom anymore because there was a big spider named Jerry.  He knew the spider's name was Jerry because he was wearing a name tag.

Jan 20, 2018

Last night after he got his teeth brushed he said he was scared because there was a man with a knife that was going to kill him.  The man was standing outside the window and he was going to throw the knife through the window and the knife would hit him and kill him.  Then as questioned and reassured him the story grew to the many had lots of knives that he was going to throw through the window and then it got sillier from there.

I quick update

Time really flies and I have to admit I get a lot more done when I avoid the computer. I still take a peek at my email and friend's blogs daily, I just haven't spent my usual time on the computer. It seems like it takes me forever to come up with something to say and even longer to type it the way that I want. The crazy thing is that when I go throughout my daily routine or when I am in the shower I think of perfect things to say and funny ways to say them. The only bad thing about avoiding the computer is that I lose out on a lot of journaling.

So here is a run down since my last post:

• Sweating like a pig at 12:30 PM swim lessons.
• Macy learning more ways to torment her sister. Macy found a plastic ant. Kelsey is afraid of this plastic ant and won't touch it. So while I am ignoring my children so I can read Breaking Dawn Macy starts to make a hissing sound and creeps closer to Kelsey. Obviously this makes Kelsey scream and soon the chase begins. Kelsey comes running to me and the screaming is causing me to go deaf and lose my focus. I tell Macy to stop, but 5 seconds later I hear hissing and screaming and see an ant inching closer. I can't get Kelsey to stop screaming so I threaten to throw the ant away and Macy finally got the clue.
• Macy had her first day of school (I will have to blog about this later because I know grandparents want to hear all about it). Kelsey gets to play with friends on Wednesdays during preschool so I got to experience a little taste of freedom. The payment for this freedom is that I take the 3 friends every third Wednesday.
• I cleaned my carpets using a friends commercial extractor. I cleaned doors, fans, and lights; made a concentrated effort to fold laundry promptly, keep the house picked up, and keep the toys in the play room; and I de-junked closets. I talked Brian into hanging garage ceiling racks this Saturday so I can further organize.
• I canned chicken for the first time on Thursday for my food storage. The only problem with a special project like this is that all my efforts to keep a clean house went down the drain and I tend to get a little more frustrated with my children and all their needs. Who needs lunch anyways?
• The newest thing is that my kids need to have friends over every second of the day. If no one is here they ask every 5 minutes for a friend to come over. So Monday Madison and Elodie came to play in the afternoon and today Kyle came over and swam with us. I figure the rest of the week is filled with school and swim lessons.
• Oh and I shouldn't forget that Wednesday was a pool party for the YW. I want a pool that is deep, has rock slide, a diving board and a rope swing. Just a few requests. Oh ya, I wouldn't mind an outdoor kitchen with a really nice patio set either.
• Kelsey has had a few problems with making it to the toilet lately. It seems she would rather play a few more minutes and then have an accident. So after going through 5 pairs of shorts each day I implemented a gummy bear jar. Every time she goes to the bathroom and has no accidents on the way she get a gummy bear. The problem is Macy doesn't go as often so she is upset and wants more and Kelsey is on the toilet all the time. I think she had 10 bears today. The good thing, she has worn the same underpants all day long.
• And Kelsey has a boy in her tummy. Today at Walmart while buying pull-ups (for at night) she found a baby boy outfit that she wanted it. The reason she gave me was because she had a baby boy in her tummy and lifted up her shirt.

Macy's reading spot

Macy's new favorite place to read is the toilet. I will walk by the bathroom and there she is with her pants to her knees and a book in hand. She wants to be just like her dad. Okay she wants to be like mom too, but I don't take reading material in there because I plan on being in there a long time. I take it because this is a place where people don't bother me. My kids sometimes get the nerve to do this but I can always shut the door when they come.