Melt My Heart

In St. George while swimming crazy man Braden jumps and wraps his arms around my neck and says "I got my bwest fwiend." Then today he grabbed hold of me and told me I was his best friend. My heart just melted. If anyone knows Braden, they know that he is a complete momma's boy. Not sure how I feel about this every moment of the day, especially when I want a break. For the most part it makes me so happy to feel so loved.

Moments like this make me wonder what my relationship would be like with Macy and Kelsey if they were spaced further apart. I loved that they have always had a friend and that they have never really been alone. Before Braden I would have told you that having your kids close was the way to go. But now I couldn't give you a definitive answer of which is the best. Braden has had way more one on one time and I have felt so much joy in that time (frustrations too always the good with the bad). I felt joy watching the girls grow up (and still do) but mostly it was through observing them interact with each other and not the interactions with myself personally. There have been sweet moments in which the joy came from interacting with one or the other but the scales probably fall heavier the other way. I don't think each one of these ways are bad. I just wonder what my relationship will be like with the girls when they are grown. Would it have been easier to get where I want if they had had that extra special time with mom? Will I even get what I want and do I have the personality to have what I want? All deep questions that only time, myself and God will tell. Right now I will savor what I have and hopefully one day I will have 3 best friends (4 if you count my main squeeze).